Funeral specifics

Katie suggested that I stop being so "chatty" on the blog and provide
a simple listing of the funeral details. (That's what happens when you
marry an accountant). She is (of course) right, so here it goes-

Wake and funeral to be held at the Benedictan Monastary, contact and
details are here: www.osbva.org

Wake is Monday, Dec 1 at 7pm.
Funeral Mass Tusday, Dec 2nd 12:30 pm.
Internment of Ashes will be sometime in early June in the Adirondac
Mountians. Details TBD.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in mom's name to one of the
Benedictan ministries. (see site for details) OR to Hospice of Wake
County, NC. (www.hospiceofwake.org)

Mom's obit will run in the manassas daily paper as well as the
Arlington Catholic Hearald, and the local paper in Chenango Co. BY.
The funeral director told me to look for the obit to run Saturday or
Sunday.

Finally, those in need of lodging should refer to previous posts for
group room rates and locations.

Trip

Sent from my phone

Fwd: Eileen

From Mom's friends, Eric and June in the UK. 

Hi Trip

 

Please accept our deepest sympathy for Eileen's death, whilst expected and undoubtedly a merciful release for Eileen herself it must still be for you, and the rest of the family, a time of sadness and great loss.  I am sure that Eileen would have been proud of the sincere, thoughtful and caring way in which you have administered the blog site and kept us aware of how things were progressing - it was much appreciated.

 

Eileen was a wonderful person who enjoyed life and helped many others along the way in many different ways. As someone once said " we were the richer for her coming and the poorer for her departure ".

 

I appreciate that it is unlikely but if there is anything that I/we can help with on this side of the 'pond' please feel free to contact us.

 

Condolences and best wishes.

 

Yours
 

Eric and June

Fwd: Hotel

Kate,

I lost your phone number.... I booked a few rooms at the hyatt dullas airport for monday and tuesday under my name for anyone who needs it. They just have to show up and give my name. The rooms are 69.00 a night.
Hope you are doing ok. We are praying for you.

Hotel

Bridget has reserved a block of 12 rooms at a rate of 109.00 per
night. It's a good deal, and the best lodging option near the
monastary. You can call the hotel directly at 540 349-4200

Sent from my phone

Funeral details

I've confirmed with Sr. Cecelia that mom's wake will be from 7-10 pm
on monday, December 1 at St. Benedicts Monastary on Linton Hall Road
in Bristow VA. Her funeral mass will be at 12:30 pm the following day,
also at the Monastary.

Bridget is working on blocking some rooms at the Hampton Inn nearby in
Gainesville, VA - at the intersection of RT 29 and Linton Hall Rd.

I'm working on contact information for Mom's Charities. Will post that
soon.

Sent from my phone

Mom arrived home tonight

I received the call this morning, Mom passed away very peacefully in
her sleep around midnight.

Strangely, all I feel is gratitude and release at the moment. Mom is
finally free, and beyond the reach of any of the pain and indignities
the cancer imposed on her in her final months. She passed in the full
knowledge of how deeply and broadly her friends and family love her.
Most of all, mom died happily, with her faith in a loving, merciful
and consolate god intact.

Thank you to everyone who offered their support and prayers during
this very difficult time. We will rely on your continued support in
the days ahead. Andy and I want to especially thank our aunts Kate,
Bridget, and Carol (along with their families)- you will never know
the depth of our gratitude for the love and support you've provided to
us since September. The long, daily trips to visit mom in the nursing
home kept her sane and afloat in some dark days. You have been a
tremendous grace and source of strength for Andy and I, especially
during this last week sitting vigil with Mom. All we can say is thank
you, and we love you.

By the time I post this message, Gram will have been informed of Mom's
passing. Exact details of the funeral service will be coming soon,
but I have discussed prliminary dates and times with Sr. Cecelia at
St. Benedicts for hosting Mom's wake the evening of December 1st and
Funeral the morning of December 2nd.

For those traveling, Bridget will be blocking some rooms at the
Hampton Inn in Bristow. It's a new hotel, walking distance to
resturants and Bars ( this IS an Irish funeral after all). The staff
has also been tremendously supportive of Andy and I over multiple
stays at the hotel.

For those who wish to do something in Mom's memory, please make a
donation to either St. Benedicts or Hospice of Wake County, NC where
mom worked before she got sick. I'll post the details for that on the
blog once I've had a chance to pull things together. More updates in
the morning.

Trip

Sent from my phone

Cleaning house

I'm sorry I haven't been keeping this space updated as frequently as I
planned, it's been a crazy week, and frankly there hasn't been a lot
of developments to report.

Mom is about the same as she has been since Friday. Actually, her
condition has maybe improved a little. I'm told we shouldn't
necessarily make any conclusions about this development. Frequently,
terminal patients will have a couple of good days before a final
decline. I'm hoping that is the case here. Mom's current state could
only be described as "living" in a biological sense. This isn't how
she lived her life, and isn't how she wants to be remembered.
I'm down in Raleigh tonight packing up mom's house for the movers that
arrive tomorrow.

Andy was concerned about me being alone in Mom's empty house for two
days, but I've actually enjoyed the time.
Going through all of mom's things has been a powerful reminder of what
an amazing adventure her life has been.

Sorting though old boxes and photo albums I've come across mementos,
photos and nick-nacks from around the world. Mom has friends and
family tracking her passing in India, England, South Africa, and
across the United States.
I draw tremendous consolation from the realization that mom's greatest
legacy is the number of lives she has touched. Everywhere I go, people
tell me how amazing mom is- even those who knew her only a short
while. It's a humbling experience.

I'm ready for Mom to go, I've accepted it. Her life has been short,
but it has been a he'll of a ride. I am going to miss her
tremendously, but I have faith that she will be happy and with her
beloved "Sparky" soon.

For those of you potentially traveling, we have TENATIVELY scheduled
mom's wake and funeral for 12/1 and 12/2. If she hangs on beyond the
holiday, we may have to change plans, but that is the plan at the
moment. The wake and funeral is graciously being hosted by the St
Benefict's Monastary in Bristow VA. More details to come when they're
available.

Sent from my phone

Still not much to report

Mom made it through the night without much fuss. She seems to have
stabilized a bit. She's asleep almost all the time, and aside from
stirring for a moment or so, she's at peace. She is still pretty
lucid, and understands what's happening. She's not afraid. She's
ready. Andy and I are here with her. We're ready too. Come Holy
Spirit, come...

Sent from my phone

Still going...

Mom's still hanging in. We're at dinner now hopefully giving mom an
opportunity to leave if she wants. We're told that people sometimes
don't want to leave a lasting memory of their passing moment.

I want to reiterate that NO ONE should say anything to Gram until Kate
and Bridget have a chance to give her the news in person. At this
point, it may be tomorow morning if Mom continues to struggle. We hope
to provide gram a good night sleep before hitting her with any news.

Trip

Sent from my phone

Discression

Nothing new to report, just a request not to contact my Granmother
with questions. Kate and Bridget are handling the situation and will
be with Gram when there is anything to report. If this goes as
expected we are tenativelly planning on the first week of December for
the funeral mass and wake.

Sent from my phone

Close now

Mom's failing fast. Her heart rate up and blood pressure is down.
Hospice has started oxygen to make breathing easier. Unfortunately,
we've come to the end of most of our pharma options at the nursing
home. Because they don't have full-time 24/7 RN coverage there are
some drugs and comfort measures that aren't open to us.

Moving to the hospice critical care facility or a hospital are
options, but at this point the ambulance ride isn't a good option.
We're going to ride it out here. We'll post more when it's available.

Sent from my phone

Update

For those of you watching this space, I'm sorry I haven't updated in awhile. Its been a little strange, partly because there hasn't been a lot to report, and part because the disease has progressed substantially and I want to spare mom's dignity the details.

She has lost a tremendous amount of weight and her nausea has been awful. Mentally and spiritually she is prepared to go and has become pretty detached, even with those closest to her.

The days are very long for her, and unfortunately there isn't much that can be done for her to alleviate that. We're all praying for a very quick end now, and would ask you to do the same. Mom is a fighter, always has been, and while her spirit is willing, her body is still fighting.

Continued prayers are very welcome. When the end has come, we'll let you know.

Trip

The Weekend

It was another rough weekend for mom. She's been getting sick and can't keep anything down. She's tired and sore. I think we're entering the hard part here at the end.

She says she's not really in any pain, just weak and tired mostly. They've started some medications to help with the nausea and make her more comfortable. I spoke with her briefly this weekend (she can't do much more than 5 minutes). She sounds weak, but I think she's doing OK, all things considered. I just hope it doesn't last much longer.

A turn for the worse

I just got off the phone with the hospice nurse, mom’s condition has worsened substantially over the weekend. She’s exhaused and has stopped taking food. Her blood pressure is down and she sleeps a lot.

She’s having difficulty with memory and other cognitive tasks.  Its safe to say, its the beginning of the end. I’m gratefull  - this has not been an overly-long process and Mom isn’t complaining of any pain. Hopefully this phase will be mercifully short, and mom can get some peace.  

At this point we need to give mom her peace. The nurses say that when people visit she tries to be the “consumate hostess”. It takes a lot out of her – energy she needs to get through these last few days. Please, no more visits or phone calls. Kate Bridget and Gram will still be visiting with Mom briefly over the next few days – mostly to hold her hand and be quiet together. She won’t be alone.

Thank you all for the love and support you’ve shown over the past weeks, it has been a comfort to Mom and the family.

Trip

Mom's Friends are Amazing....

Eileen used to work at Hopice of Wake County, North Carolina.  

While she was there she tried to organize a craft fair to raise money for the Inpatient Hospice facility that they are building.  She got sick before she was able to get the craft show organized.  This idea went on the back burner for awhile.  Eileen got a call from one of her friends, Merrie Aust, who explained that she and Alison Stevens  decided to organize the craft show.  

They have been busy emailing and putting out flyers and the response has been terrific.  The donations will go to the Reflection's Garden which is a place for the children to go.  A plaque will be put in the garden with Eileen's name.  Eileen was thrilled and honored that this was happening.  She has even asked that they sell some of the baskets she made and the last tie chair.
 
If you are interested in donating to this wonderful cause please send your donation to
Hospice of Wake County
1300St Mary's Street  4th Floor
Raleigh, NC 27605
Attn: Merrie Aust
 
Please put Eileen McGuire on the check or on a note so that it will all goto the Reflection's garden.
 
If you have any questions please contact Bridget at 703-508-1102.

Fwd: update

Sent from my phone

Begin forwarded message:

From: bridget shields <bridgetshields@yahoo.com>
Date: October 13, 2008 10:14:51 AM PDT
To: kate.kimener@ngc.com, ckimener@cox.net, Trip O'Dell <tripodell@mac.com>
Subject: update
Reply-To: bridgetshields@yahoo.com

hi, Eileen was tired this am.  She said she didn't want to take more pain meds  so I told her that it was her choice and that she didn't need to be a hero, If she needs them take them.  I talked to Tammy and she said they offer them to her like they always have they aren't trying to push her take them. She drank most of her coffee today. I've got the paperwork signed for a handicap sticker so Trip if you and Andy want to take her out somewhere this weekend you can use it.  I also think we should use it for mom.  This weekend at Clifton was a mess.  Kate and Carol we can work out the details. I'm going to take a mini DVD player into Leen tomorrow.  She wanted to see a couple movies and she is bored with the TV.  If you visit and she says she wants to see something let me know and I'll pick it up and bring it out to her.  I'm hoping this will block out some of Mary's antics. well gotta run.  If there is something else you can think of that I can do to help let me know. Smile, Bridget

No more visits please.

My Aunt Bridget called me this evening, mostly to catch up, but also to give me an update on Mom’s condition.  Kate and Bridget have been amazing and have made this process so much better for Andy and I. Mom is in good hands, and I sleep better  knowing that Kate will be there in the morning with Coffee, and Bridget in the evening before she goes to bed. Its a debt I doubt I’ll ever be able to repay, so I’ll chalk it up for the grace that it is.

Jaundice is definitely setting in and Mom is wiped out. She’s sleeping a lot more and is sometimes having difficulty staying awake. At this point, I’m asking for no more visits. If there are any questions please call me directly (408) 218-9329. The visits are really taking a toll and have begun to effect her quality of life.

I know this is a difficult thing for me to ask of all of you. Your love and support of Mom and the family have been overwhelming. Please know that your kind thoughts, visits and prayers have been appreciated beyond words, but I’m now requesting that people stay away and let her go home.

We’ll continue to keep the blog updated with news as it develops. Please keep the prayers coming. We’re going to need it in the coming weeks.

Trip

Things are still slow.

Just got off the phone with Mom, her spirits have been really good the last couple of days.  Andy is back in town and Ryan (Mike’s Youngest/Mom’s Stepson) is driving into town with his wife Barbie tonight to visit this weekend. Mom is looking forward to seeing them.

Mom’s brother Mike and wife Loraine were visiting when I called earlier. It sounded like a really nice visit, but mom was pretty tired afterward.

Andy tells me that mom is looking a little better. The swelling has reduced, and she feels better with her new haircut. He did mention that she looks darker/tanner, which I’m afraid isn’t from her long hours lounging in the sun, but is a result of Jaundice.  Regardless, she’s feeling good and she’s comfortable, That’s the important part.

Mom tells me that (aside from a few exceptions) everyone has been sticking to the visiting guideline we set up. Thank you all for respecting these requests. Mom’s quality of life is directly linked to her sense of dignity and control. Coming to visit with her on her terms, is the best gift you can give her at this point.  For those of you too far afield to visit easily, please know that I am reading your comments and emails to her on a regular basis. They mean a lot to her.  The well wishes have been really great for all of us.

That’s a bout it for this episode. I was kidding Mom the other day that people will start thinking she’s playing possum if I don’t have anything dramatic to post.  That made her laugh, which is good. We’ll take our laughs where we can get them these days. And as for drama... I’ll take boring for as long as I can get it.

Things are leveling out

  A pretty positive report yesterday from Kate and Bridget (mom’s sisters). Mom’s swelling has improved, likely the effect of some medication which helps Mom’s liver process the amonia in the blood. The reduction in swelling has made her a lot more comfortable.

Friends and family have really helped out by adhering to the visitation schedule of 6-8 on weekdays. Mom’s energy is better, and she can dedicate her days to resting (and catching up on Judge Judy). Mom was looking forward to getting her hair cut today. One of the amenities of the nursing home is an on-site beauty parlor – which is nice. Simple things like that give mom a sense of normalcy and control. When life is coming at you at 100 miles an hour, its difficult to overstate the value of simple pleasures.

Andy will be heading back down to Virginia this weekend to check in with Mom. Mom’s settling into the daily schedule at the home, and is beginning to feel more at home, which is great. I haven’t heard any complaints so far, so hopefully she’s content with where she is. I suppose this is now the new normal. The important thing is that mom is comfortable, and is using the lull in the action to rest up and prepare for what’s to come.

 

Today was a good day

Spoke with Mom tonight. Sounds like she got some rest over the weekend and that people have backed off on the visiting a bit. She’s still tired, but she isn’t shy about telling people when she’s had enough, which is good.

It sounds like the 6-8 hours are really working well for her. She can pace herself during the day and then be ready for visits in the evening. She’s still asking Kate to bring her milkshakes and coffee, so the appetite is still there. At this point whatever mom wants, she gets.

Hopefully we get a few uneventful days in a row so she can get into a routine.

I’ll be posting some video clips later of Mom and Maeve playing on the playground Saturday. More to come.

Trains planes and Automobiles - recovery day.

It was a very long flight back to San Francisco last night. We didn't get home until 4am (eastern) so we're all exhausted and using today to recover for the week ahead.

Yesterday was likely our last with Mom. Mike's sister Kathleen and her family came down Friday night to visit with mom. They drove nine hours (each way) to visit for mom for just an hour or so. Mark is a minister and had to preach this morning so they had to drive all the way back to Cape Vincent, NY (on the Canadian Border). It was incredibly gracious and a testament to how close mom has become with the McGuire clan.

Katie, Maeve, Andy and I spent some quality time with mom after Mark and Kathleen left, taking a field trip to the Monastery to visit with the Benedictines and to watch Maeve scale the rock wall on the playground (which she calls diamonds). The visit did wonders for Mom's morale. She got to visit with her friends on familiar ground, and to visit a place that was at the heart of Mom and Mike's relationship.

Mom visited the shrine to St. Benedict that Mike refinished right before he became ill. The shrine was built in 1930 and features a gorgeous mosaic of Benedict rendered in an eastern style. The Shrine had fallen into disuse and disrepair over the years. Mike decided to take it on himself to rebuilda gorgeous set of massive oaken doors for the shrine.

The doors stand about 12 feet high and span at least 8-10 feet. Aside from needing a fresh coat of finish, the doors look as good as the day Mike hung them.

Sr. Cecelia, the Prioress at the Monastery told me that Mike's work on the shrine became the catalyst for the "Place of Peace" - a new meditation space, open to all on the Monastery grounds. The P.O.P features a labyrinth, teaching gardens, and a pair of converted grain silos that serve as a wonderful sanctuary from the epic sprawl of the Virginia suburbs. It all started with one guy who decided to use his time and talent to make a place better than he found it, and ended in a place where the community can come and escape traffic, cell phones, and the ubiquitous mcmansions that made me flee NOVA more than ten years ago. It reminded me of the loaves and the fishes - Its amazing how small graces snowball into miracles.

It was great for Mom to get out and do some normal stuff for a few hours, but the heat, humidity and activity wore us all out pretty quickly.

Once we got her back to her room we settled in and took care of some last minute details. We were trying to stall for time. It was time to say goodbye. Katie and Maeve said goodbye – it was hard for me to watch, knowing it was going to be the last time Mom would see her granddaughter. My mind was racing with all the things mom was going to miss. I could tell mom was thinking the same thing, but she took it with grace and acceptance.

Then it came time for me to say my goodbyes. Katie and Andy gave me the room so I could say mine privately. I'm incredibly grateful I had to opportunity to say them while mom is lucid and conscious. I know she's at peace with what is happening to her. I know she isn't in pain, and she's comfortable.

I hope to return before mom passes, but there are no guarantees with this sort of thing, and knowing that nothing has been left unsaid or unfinished is a consolation.

People keep telling me how tragic mom's life has been. They point to the low points, Mike's illness, the house in New York languishing on the market, estrangements with friends and family, etc. I disagree.

A tragic life is a life unfinished; loves and ideas left unspoken, risks never taken, an adherence to well traveled paths. None of this describes mom. Mom's crammed more life into 59 years than most do in 80. So while I'm very sad to loose her, she's at peace and has no regrets. She says she's ready to go, and I believe her.

Update - Eileen's Condition/visitation

After a very, very long day - I'm emailing family and friends to clarify a few things.

1) Mom's death is not "imminent" - her vitals are fine. She is dying, but we have no clear time-line for how this will go. She's exhausted from a nearly constant stream of visitors. She's had a hell of a week between moving from Raleigh, adjusting to the nursing home, registering for hospice and saying goodbye for the last time to her only grandchild.

2) Call the nursing home before visiting, see if she's open to taking visitors.

2) No one visits mom until next week. She needs to rest.

3) Mom's has asked that we limit her visits to week nights between 6-8, and to no longer than 10-15 minutes.

4) Check the blog for updates on her condition. Its as simple as clicking on this link http://www.eileenmcguire.blogspot.com. Andy and I are unable to keep up with the deluge of email and phone calls. The blog will have the most up to date information.

5) We are not preventing anyone from visiting. We are asking that you respect the times we're setting for visitation. If the hours, time limits or other constraints we've set don't work for you, I invite you to revisit your priorities, or reexamine your motivations for visiting.

6) The visit should be pleasant and brief. She's dying. She doesn't need to be burdened with making this easier for anyone else, and doesn't owe anyone "closure".

7) No groups larger than three. No children.

8) No gifts or flowers. She doesn't have room. When you call ahead, ask her if she wants anything - a milkshake, whatever. There are no dietary restrictions on her. Its all about making her comfortable.

9) You can call Andy, myself or Kate Kimener if you need clarification on anything here.

10) When mom tells us she's had enough, the visits are done, and we'll leave those instructions with the nursing facility. Check the blog before coming.

11) None of these rules apply to Gram.

I'm sorry if this is blunt. Mom bares no ill-will to anyone. She's tired, and is a peace with what is happening to her. Andy and I have been entrusted with safeguarding her wishes, whether we agree with them or not. Mom makes the rules. We make sure they're carried out. If we are terse, or stonewall well intentioned gestures that are made out of love, please understand that we're not doing this out of spite or anger. Our only loyalty is to mom and her wishes.

I'm sorry if I've missed anyone with this email. It will be posted to the blog, and can be forwarded to whoever I may have missed.

Trip

Today has been a tough day.

Its a cold, windy overcast day here in Virginia, and somehow our moods seems to fit the weather.  

We’re all tired, and its been an emotional day.

We met with hospice this morning.  Apparently patients have to be admitted to hospice care, so we had mom’s interview this morning. It was sort of a hot and cold experience. The hospice nurse at the facility is awesome (her name is Betty – I know “Nurse Betty” right?!). She was able to walk Andy and I through what’s to come.  The admitting nurse who handles the paperwork is a different story. She wasn’t familiar with mom’s chart and we had to take a timeout to figure things out, she was also half an hour late. I’ve got nothing against being a little disorganized, but there are some situations where you should have your stuff together.

Part of the hospice process is giving the dying “permission” to die. I’ve heard of this in the past, but I was surprised that I had to tell mom its ok for her to go, I thought it was obvious.

I was unprepared for how difficult it was to tell her that its ok for her to die, that she doesn’t have to hold on for Andy and I. She’s done a good job as a mom, and that we’ll be here to take care of each other.  I was just as unprepared for how grateful she would be to hear it. Its hard for my mom to be vulnerable, even with Andy and I. She’s still mom and we’re still her boys. She’s been trying to protect us, and telling her that its ok to go has taken that burden away from her.

Nurse Betty (If you’re reading this Betty – sorry in advance, I think that one is going to stick) told us something about dying. That the superficial layers of the dying person’s personality are slowly stripped away as they become unburdened by their traditional roles – caretaker, boss, extrovert, life of the party – leaving the most essential parts – daughter, sister, mother. She’s slowly withdrawing from the world, and all we can do is wave from the shore and cheer her along.  

Which brings me to a request from Andy and I. If you plan on visiting mom, do it for the right reasons. If you’re coming because you need closure, because you need to be consoled, because you need to tell her something, put it in a note and send it to the blog.  Don’t burden her with those things.  

On the other hand, if you’re coming to celebrate her life, if you’re coming to encourage her and give her the love, encouragement and strength she’s going to need on this journey then please come and visit with her briefly. If Andy and I can give her permission, then you can too.

To simplify the visiting logistics, we’re setting up some visiting hours for Mom 6-8pm Monday to Thursday. We’re holding weekends for close family and quiet time for Mom. If you can’t make these hours, please give Andy and I some advanced notice so we can let Mom know when you’re coming. The realities of nursing home life make “popping in” really hit or miss for mom and her care.

Thanks again for everyone’s support and kind messages of encouragement. Its been overwhelming, and Mom enjoys hearing them in the evening.

Slow Morning

Andy and I dropped by to see Mom this morning and took her for a roll around the parking lot.  It was a gorgeous, crisp autumn morning and Mom enjoyed being out in the sun. The facility has been really nice, but its been an adjustment for her. As you all know she’s fiercely independent, so letting the LPNs help her has been ...”challenging”.

Her room is nice, but they’re looking to change her room so she can get a window seat and a new roommate. Her current roommate is not what you would call a “communicator”, preferring to let her bowels do her talking for her. Andy and I have nick-named her “Downtown Doo Doo Brown”, and have assured mom we’re going to get her a fan and some pine tree air fresheners. Its good to see Mom’s sense of humor is still intact. We hope to get her moved in the next day or so.

A few requests from mom for those visiting. She doesn’t have a lot of room for flowers in her room – so while appreciated, she doesn’t have anyplace to keep them right now.

Also the facility is smoke free – she can’t even light up outside the building on the property. So if you’re planning on visiting bring your walking shoes and a pack of smokes (she likes ultralight 100s – either Basic Brand, Merit or Marlboro). Don’t forget a light. Mom’s Quote of the Day: “What the hell? no harm in it now, right?”

Message from Liz

TRIP.....FOLLOWING IS A MESSAGE FOR YOUR MOM, WHICH I HOPE YOU CAN PASS ON TO HER;

EILEEN...YOU HAVE BROUGHT SUCH LIGHT AND LOVE TO YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY.  NOW  
 
THE FAITH AND PRAYERS THAT HAVE SUSTAINED YOU IN THIS LIFE TRANSPORT YOU TO  
 
PARADISE, WHERE MIKE IS ALREADY WAITING.     
 
 WITH LOVE FROM YOUR FRIEND LIZ
--

Mornings visits are better.

Mom will be getting settled in today (once she and Andy arrive).  Just an FYI for visitors – her energy is better in the mornings, with a peak around Mid-morning. She gets tired and often naps midday-early afternoon with a rally in the late afternoon. I would ask that no one visit after 6:30 in the evenings – she’s usually done for the day by then. If you can’t make any other time, please talk to me or Andy first – my cell is (408)-218-9329 Andy is (610) 662-8658.
--

Mom arrives today

Andy and Mom are driving up from Raleigh today. We FINALLY got things
sorted with the nursing home yesterday. She'll be staying at
Gainesville Health and Rehab at 7501 Heritage Hunt Drive in
Gainesville, VA. It's in the Heritage Hunt Development, just off Route
29 North on the Gainesville exit (43) for i66.

Sent from my phone

Welcome

This blog is intended as a place to keep tabs on my Mom  (Eileen McGuire) while she battles terminal cancer. 

Today is our last day in Raleigh. Tomorrow, I'm driving Mom to a skilled nursing facility in Northern Virginia where she can be closer to friends and family. I'll post more information when we're ready to make it available. 

A few ground rules for the blog: 

• The blog is intended for friends and family of Eileen. 
• You will need to be registered to comment or post. 
  
• My brother Andy and I will be monitoring and posting to the blog, and will relay well wishes to mom posted here.
• We will also monitor email, sent to this blog or mom's private account. We may not respond, but we'll deliver messages to her.

A few ground rules from Mom.

• Mom's phones are forwarded to my cell phone. I'm screening calls.
• Please clear any visits with Andy or I before going to see Mom. She's weak and needs her rest. 
• Cards, Flowers, Etc are great. Avoid food, her appetite isn't good.
• Please keep visits brief 20 minutes is about right. Mom loves seeing people, but it saps her strength quickly.
• For Estate matters please contact me (Trip), I have power of attorney and I'm executor for the estate. 
• Andy and I are both empowered to make decisions with regard to Mom's medical conditions and quality of life.