Funeral specifics

Katie suggested that I stop being so "chatty" on the blog and provide
a simple listing of the funeral details. (That's what happens when you
marry an accountant). She is (of course) right, so here it goes-

Wake and funeral to be held at the Benedictan Monastary, contact and
details are here: www.osbva.org

Wake is Monday, Dec 1 at 7pm.
Funeral Mass Tusday, Dec 2nd 12:30 pm.
Internment of Ashes will be sometime in early June in the Adirondac
Mountians. Details TBD.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in mom's name to one of the
Benedictan ministries. (see site for details) OR to Hospice of Wake
County, NC. (www.hospiceofwake.org)

Mom's obit will run in the manassas daily paper as well as the
Arlington Catholic Hearald, and the local paper in Chenango Co. BY.
The funeral director told me to look for the obit to run Saturday or
Sunday.

Finally, those in need of lodging should refer to previous posts for
group room rates and locations.

Trip

Sent from my phone

Fwd: Eileen

From Mom's friends, Eric and June in the UK. 

Hi Trip

 

Please accept our deepest sympathy for Eileen's death, whilst expected and undoubtedly a merciful release for Eileen herself it must still be for you, and the rest of the family, a time of sadness and great loss.  I am sure that Eileen would have been proud of the sincere, thoughtful and caring way in which you have administered the blog site and kept us aware of how things were progressing - it was much appreciated.

 

Eileen was a wonderful person who enjoyed life and helped many others along the way in many different ways. As someone once said " we were the richer for her coming and the poorer for her departure ".

 

I appreciate that it is unlikely but if there is anything that I/we can help with on this side of the 'pond' please feel free to contact us.

 

Condolences and best wishes.

 

Yours
 

Eric and June

Fwd: Hotel

Kate,

I lost your phone number.... I booked a few rooms at the hyatt dullas airport for monday and tuesday under my name for anyone who needs it. They just have to show up and give my name. The rooms are 69.00 a night.
Hope you are doing ok. We are praying for you.

Hotel

Bridget has reserved a block of 12 rooms at a rate of 109.00 per
night. It's a good deal, and the best lodging option near the
monastary. You can call the hotel directly at 540 349-4200

Sent from my phone

Funeral details

I've confirmed with Sr. Cecelia that mom's wake will be from 7-10 pm
on monday, December 1 at St. Benedicts Monastary on Linton Hall Road
in Bristow VA. Her funeral mass will be at 12:30 pm the following day,
also at the Monastary.

Bridget is working on blocking some rooms at the Hampton Inn nearby in
Gainesville, VA - at the intersection of RT 29 and Linton Hall Rd.

I'm working on contact information for Mom's Charities. Will post that
soon.

Sent from my phone

Mom arrived home tonight

I received the call this morning, Mom passed away very peacefully in
her sleep around midnight.

Strangely, all I feel is gratitude and release at the moment. Mom is
finally free, and beyond the reach of any of the pain and indignities
the cancer imposed on her in her final months. She passed in the full
knowledge of how deeply and broadly her friends and family love her.
Most of all, mom died happily, with her faith in a loving, merciful
and consolate god intact.

Thank you to everyone who offered their support and prayers during
this very difficult time. We will rely on your continued support in
the days ahead. Andy and I want to especially thank our aunts Kate,
Bridget, and Carol (along with their families)- you will never know
the depth of our gratitude for the love and support you've provided to
us since September. The long, daily trips to visit mom in the nursing
home kept her sane and afloat in some dark days. You have been a
tremendous grace and source of strength for Andy and I, especially
during this last week sitting vigil with Mom. All we can say is thank
you, and we love you.

By the time I post this message, Gram will have been informed of Mom's
passing. Exact details of the funeral service will be coming soon,
but I have discussed prliminary dates and times with Sr. Cecelia at
St. Benedicts for hosting Mom's wake the evening of December 1st and
Funeral the morning of December 2nd.

For those traveling, Bridget will be blocking some rooms at the
Hampton Inn in Bristow. It's a new hotel, walking distance to
resturants and Bars ( this IS an Irish funeral after all). The staff
has also been tremendously supportive of Andy and I over multiple
stays at the hotel.

For those who wish to do something in Mom's memory, please make a
donation to either St. Benedicts or Hospice of Wake County, NC where
mom worked before she got sick. I'll post the details for that on the
blog once I've had a chance to pull things together. More updates in
the morning.

Trip

Sent from my phone

Cleaning house

I'm sorry I haven't been keeping this space updated as frequently as I
planned, it's been a crazy week, and frankly there hasn't been a lot
of developments to report.

Mom is about the same as she has been since Friday. Actually, her
condition has maybe improved a little. I'm told we shouldn't
necessarily make any conclusions about this development. Frequently,
terminal patients will have a couple of good days before a final
decline. I'm hoping that is the case here. Mom's current state could
only be described as "living" in a biological sense. This isn't how
she lived her life, and isn't how she wants to be remembered.
I'm down in Raleigh tonight packing up mom's house for the movers that
arrive tomorrow.

Andy was concerned about me being alone in Mom's empty house for two
days, but I've actually enjoyed the time.
Going through all of mom's things has been a powerful reminder of what
an amazing adventure her life has been.

Sorting though old boxes and photo albums I've come across mementos,
photos and nick-nacks from around the world. Mom has friends and
family tracking her passing in India, England, South Africa, and
across the United States.
I draw tremendous consolation from the realization that mom's greatest
legacy is the number of lives she has touched. Everywhere I go, people
tell me how amazing mom is- even those who knew her only a short
while. It's a humbling experience.

I'm ready for Mom to go, I've accepted it. Her life has been short,
but it has been a he'll of a ride. I am going to miss her
tremendously, but I have faith that she will be happy and with her
beloved "Sparky" soon.

For those of you potentially traveling, we have TENATIVELY scheduled
mom's wake and funeral for 12/1 and 12/2. If she hangs on beyond the
holiday, we may have to change plans, but that is the plan at the
moment. The wake and funeral is graciously being hosted by the St
Benefict's Monastary in Bristow VA. More details to come when they're
available.

Sent from my phone

Still not much to report

Mom made it through the night without much fuss. She seems to have
stabilized a bit. She's asleep almost all the time, and aside from
stirring for a moment or so, she's at peace. She is still pretty
lucid, and understands what's happening. She's not afraid. She's
ready. Andy and I are here with her. We're ready too. Come Holy
Spirit, come...

Sent from my phone

Still going...

Mom's still hanging in. We're at dinner now hopefully giving mom an
opportunity to leave if she wants. We're told that people sometimes
don't want to leave a lasting memory of their passing moment.

I want to reiterate that NO ONE should say anything to Gram until Kate
and Bridget have a chance to give her the news in person. At this
point, it may be tomorow morning if Mom continues to struggle. We hope
to provide gram a good night sleep before hitting her with any news.

Trip

Sent from my phone

Discression

Nothing new to report, just a request not to contact my Granmother
with questions. Kate and Bridget are handling the situation and will
be with Gram when there is anything to report. If this goes as
expected we are tenativelly planning on the first week of December for
the funeral mass and wake.

Sent from my phone

Close now

Mom's failing fast. Her heart rate up and blood pressure is down.
Hospice has started oxygen to make breathing easier. Unfortunately,
we've come to the end of most of our pharma options at the nursing
home. Because they don't have full-time 24/7 RN coverage there are
some drugs and comfort measures that aren't open to us.

Moving to the hospice critical care facility or a hospital are
options, but at this point the ambulance ride isn't a good option.
We're going to ride it out here. We'll post more when it's available.

Sent from my phone

Update

For those of you watching this space, I'm sorry I haven't updated in awhile. Its been a little strange, partly because there hasn't been a lot to report, and part because the disease has progressed substantially and I want to spare mom's dignity the details.

She has lost a tremendous amount of weight and her nausea has been awful. Mentally and spiritually she is prepared to go and has become pretty detached, even with those closest to her.

The days are very long for her, and unfortunately there isn't much that can be done for her to alleviate that. We're all praying for a very quick end now, and would ask you to do the same. Mom is a fighter, always has been, and while her spirit is willing, her body is still fighting.

Continued prayers are very welcome. When the end has come, we'll let you know.

Trip

The Weekend

It was another rough weekend for mom. She's been getting sick and can't keep anything down. She's tired and sore. I think we're entering the hard part here at the end.

She says she's not really in any pain, just weak and tired mostly. They've started some medications to help with the nausea and make her more comfortable. I spoke with her briefly this weekend (she can't do much more than 5 minutes). She sounds weak, but I think she's doing OK, all things considered. I just hope it doesn't last much longer.